As we all know, I struggle with my own femininity. I've never been comfortable with makeup (except for mascara, which conceals the albino nature of my eyelash situation). I managed to learn how to walk in a skirt and heels when I was 18; at military school, ironically enough. My hair and I are locked in an ongoing battle to the death, and I panic whenever a social occasion calls for more than a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.At the same time, I will confess to really, REALLY wanting to be able to doll myself up. I like it when I finally put together an outfit that makes me feel sexy and girly. On the very few occasions that I've been able to figure out the whole-face makeup situation, I loved how I looked.
But god forbid anyone I know from my "real" life sees me when I'm in woman mode. Because no matter how good I look/feel, there's always this latent anxiety that I'm just a poseur and everyone is going to figure me out. Seriously, I know the woman in the lower right corner looks way better than the woman in the upper left. But I don't believe for a second that they are the SAME woman, deep down.
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