I've been sick as hell for three weeks with bronchitis, a flu, a sinus infection, and pneumonia. Before that, I was all whiny and lethargic or stressed out and panicky for what feels like months. Most of it's explained easily by random events in my personal and professional life, but I'm--quite frankly--getting sick and tired of being sick and tired.
A few weeks back, I came across a book at Barnes & Nobel by William Glasser. He'd written another book that pretty much saved my sanity when I first started teaching (it's called, oh-so-cheesily, "Every Student Can Suceed"). The basis of his whole psychological theory is that almost every mental and physical disorder: illness, migraines, depression, academic or professional failure, etc., can be explained by behavioral choices you make. He talks about something called "total behavior" which is made up of four components: thinking, acting, feeling (emotion), and physiology. The idea is that you can control the first two components, and thereby influence the latter two.
What I like about Glasser's idea is that you have almost total control over your emotional state, because you act/think according to the emotion you think you are or should be feeling. This means that instead of saying "I'm depressed" you teach yourself to say "I'm acting depressed". Then you figure out what you would do/think when you aren't depressed, and do/think those things. Soon enough, you aren't depressed. It sounds simple to the point of impossibility, but really, I think it works.
For the past weeks, I have been in a HORRIBLE funk. I hate my job, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to deal with anything. Conversations on the phone exhaust me. All I've really done in the new year is watch Wife Swap and sleep. Oh, and drink hydrocodin like it's water. That stuff is amazing.
Yesterday, I decided it was time to stop acting depressed. I went for a walk after work. I did laundry. I cleaned the whole apartment. I finally finished unpacking the last box (which I NEVER do when I move. I swear it's the same box I've been moving around for years. For the record, most of it ended up in the trash.) I made a dinner of light snacky things I like. I had a lovely loooong phone conversation with my darling Deborah. I made plans. I read a book. I also watched Wife Swap--but I actually got up during the commercial breaks and cleaned, so I feel like it wasn't the same thought/action pattern. And you know what? By bedtime, I felt pretty damned good. I woke up this morning without the pressure in my chest I've felt for months. Things feel manageable again.
So, not to get all infomercially or anything. But since January tends to be a little doldrumy for most folks, I suggest you check out Glasser's Choice Theory. And I promise my next post will be more fun and less preachy. Honest.
own bag to the supermarket, then maybe I could get everyone just to say "good Morning". And not just the guy down the block who thinks I'm cute. But everyone, from the man who walks his chihuahua to the woman with the baby carriage, or the old lady who throws out the garbage in her robe and slippers every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. People will look at you crazy and most won't say anything back (they probably won't hear you with their ipods on) but it's still worth the effort. If not for them, but for you. I guarantee you'll feel happier.
